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Simply ending a marriage brings with it, thoughts of “I’m a failure as a father, a husband and/or as a man.” While these thoughts aren’t true, they are common and pervasive in divorce. That is, they have mixed and confusing feelings about their former partner.
While one no longer feels love for the partner, they still want to care for and speak to them daily.
Many worry about wearing out friends and family with their negative news and hesitate to share more with them, despite continuing to need support and advice.
What is needed is to be around others who have walked the road of divorce, who possess critical knowledge, who can listen, validate and support.
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Often, women lead the social calendar and men can lose friendships over the years.
Having support speeds up and eases the process of returning to a successful, confident and happy life. During a divorce, men go through a variety of stages – blame, anger, sadness, feelings of failure, social withdrawal, recovery of self-worth, and re-entry into the dating world.Going through these stages can take an average of three years.Many men feel they are burdening their loved ones with their stories of struggle, yet the sharing of stories is the primary way in which you recover, learn and grow.Sharing your story, again and again, is a normal response to the shell-shock that is divorce.