Invalidating children39s feelings
In highly charged moments validation can be so crucial and clarifying.
Sometimes a conflict can be averted by simply validating what your spouse has said.
But it’s absolutely crucial to effective communication and to the fulfillment of our craving for connection with our mates.
You might want to record these questions and keep them in a place where you can retrieve them easily, like on a handy index card tucked in your wallet or on a note-keeping app on your smart phone, etc.
The invalidator may persist in invalidating you until you succumb.
He has to control you because he perceives you as being superior to him. but only on her terms and only after she has you in her control.
It’s important that if your spouse is unwilling or unable to validate, then fill the emotional gap in your heart and mind by finding friends who can validate your feelings and, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.
He has you trapped in a sickening feeling of uncertainty.
Projection The favorite tool of the invalidator: she simply takes her own feelings and puts the responsibility for them onto another person, as if these feelings originate with the other person.
Methods of the Invalidator Uncertainty One method of an invalidator is to keep you in a constant state of uncertainty. For example, there are times when you think, "Maybe he's changed.
He just bought me a new car and told me he loved me.
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