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These are the questions I’ll address in an effort to make some sense of the nonsensical dynamics of online dating.

And I’ll do so by discussing two types of trauma: the affair and loss via death.

Eventually this may help to insure the premature end of the relationship or provoke an affair as a means of escape.

And of course there’s the oldie but goodie: “I’ll beat her to the punch and cheat on her before she cheats on me.” Death A second type of trauma is the death of a spouse.

Extreme rigidity or jealousy may help to chase any new potential suitors away, or to thrust them into the arms of someone less controlling.

Other victims of a previous affair may consistently test their new potential partner’s loyalty.

Despite the downside, I believe that online dating is a practical, even necessary relationship vehicle for our fast paced planet.

The paradox is that this type of dating often serves as a breeding ground for cheating behavior.

A victim may also re-enter the dating scene only to exert too much control in the initial stages of the dating process.

Associating your late spouse with an experience you’re having with your new potential mate may also signify that you’re not ready for online dating: “Oh, Bill and I used to go here all the time.” “This is the first time I’ve gone ice skating with anyone but Tom.” Before you know it this one will have your new date longing for your sister.

The issues I’ve raised may also apply to an online dater who has been abandoned by a spouse or lover such as the one who was killed in a plane crash or an automobile accident.

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